British Museum coach rejects 
job offer at New York Mets

By Artnose recruitment correspondent 
Ivor Braindrain

The British Museum's head coach, Sir Neil MacBraveheart (right) has rejected an invitation to move to America to manage the beleaguered New York Mets, saying that the sprawling Manhattan institution is not sufficiently "universal" to attract a coach of his calibre.  

"London is the centre of the universe," said Sir Neil from his 3000-square foot office in Abu Dhabi, where he is secretly planning a British Museum branch to be known as the Burj Al BM. 

"I am not in the museum business to disperse the world's material culture back to irritating little third world nations as the Met has been doing. We worked hard for this loot. It belongs in the only encyclopaedic museum worth the name and that is the one in Abu Dhabi, er, sorry, Dubai, er, Bloomsbury. Oh dear, I'm getting ahead of myself."

Sir Neil has renewed his contract and will remain at the British Universal Encyclopaedic Museum until the year 3000.

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