American billionaire Donald Trump today unveiled plans to transform hundreds of thousands of acres of unspoilt Amazon rain forest into the world’s biggest auction rooms.

The toupéed entrepreneur astounded environmentalists with his audacious plans to construct a $150 billion auction complex in the middle of nowhere at the very moment when the art market is heading into the doldrums following years of reckless speculation by Wall Street hedge-fund managers and other members of the vulture economy.

“Today’s collectors demand the best,” a perspiring Mr Tramp told a swarm of journalists at a hastily-convened breakfast briefing in his 100-acre marble-clad sauna in Trump Towers. “And so that’s what we’ll give them. They don’t care about geography or ecology or the global economy. The world is their lobster.”

The auction complex, which will be run by former Christie’s auctioneer Mr Juicy Pikkeledonions, will be served by its own NASA space station and will be powered by an electricity sub-station that will burn the entire career output of artists Richard Prince, Murakami and Zhang Xiaogang, all of whose canvases have lost 100% of their value since the credit crunch hit the primary market.

The complex will also feature the world’s first Michelin-star MacDonalds restaurant, a 100-hole golf course, a one-legged giraffe-racing track, an underwater show-jumping arena and a multi-storey Thomas Kinkade art gallery.

“The art market is not in recession,” Mr Trimp told reporters assembled around his 50ft George III Cuban mahogany breakfast table. “It's never been in ruder health. Damien has assured me of that.” Holding up a flagon of branded Deripaska vodka, the tricologically-challenged billionaire bellowed, “Tee 'em up! Let’s get pickled!” 

C.C-W.