Iraq was not invaded after all, say  archaeologists

By our cultural heritage correspondent, Patsy Partage

A team of eminent American and British archaeologists who recently inspected a series of Iraqi cultural heritage sites found “no evidence of looting” and have concluded that the allied invasion did not actually take place, but was “just a media fantasy,” according to a new report.

Ur...some mistake

The journalist who broke the story, Martian Bypass of The Mart Newspaper said he had been told by sources in the British Museum that the cultural heritage of Iraq is intact and has never been in danger at all. 

“The media concocted the looting,” said Mr Bypass. “The moon landings never happened either. They were all filmed in a studio in Burbank…”. At this point a squad of Iraqi insurgents overpowered Mr Bypass and bundled him into the back of a stolen Humvee.

Not everyone was convinced of his story, however. “This is just another British Museum neocon attempt to put some lipstick on this pig,” said Dr Donny Ozymondias of the Cuno Research Institute in Islamabad. “Some journalists will believe anything they’re told.”

Patsy Partage

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