Encyclopaedic Museum Starter Kit!

Now even developing nations, tiny countries and insignificant source communities can have their own sprawling encyclopaedic museum just like the Metropolitan Museum in New York, the British Museum in London or the Louvre in Paris!

Yes, this innovative new product, from Chicago-based Cuno Technologies, shows you how to start a universal museum that will bring visitors flocking from around the world. You too can have a cadre of patronising curators, mile upon mile of storerooms bulging with loot, a cheesy over-priced museum shop, and a withering disdain for pesky nationalist cultural property retentionists!

Easy-to-use, and entirely future-proof, the Encyclopaedic Museum Starter Kit shows you how to:

• Loot antiquities and cultural property from weaker nations

• Hoard human remains for 'research' (Geddit?)

• Make a fortune from merchandising pillaged artworks

• Swerve around irritating provenance researchers

• Recruit unscrupulous collectors onto your board of trustees

• Watch the money come rolling in!

Don't hesitate! 

Try it now before the law changes! 

Everyone should own one! 

Yours for just $6 billion plus p&p!

Put our mini-ad
on your website

home l archive l artists l critics l small ads l dating l links l letters l about