A snowman (above) made in a West Midlands car park by an unemployed bricklayer from Wolverhampton has been hailed as a “staggering achievement” by experts in Greek sculpture.

Made during the recent heavy snowfalls, the work bears a striking resemblance to one of the most famous examples of ancient art, according to curators from the British Museum. 

Mr Dave Praxiteles, an unemployed builder, carved the complex group using just a Swiss army knife and a teaspoon, but already art historians have called it the finest snowman on record. Had it not melted within hours of being made, say experts, it would almost certainly have been mistaken for a Greek marble original and become the subject of a repatriation dispute.

“I’ve only seen a photograph of it,” said Neil MacGregor, director of the British Museum, “but it clearly belongs in the British Museum. It just goes to show that the Elgin Marbles have left a deep and lasting legacy on the British working classes; in fact its existence is unthinkable without the Marbles. It reminds me of one of the finest Greek sculptural groups ever made, the name of which momentarily escapes me. But one thing is for sure – if Lord Elgin had not rescued the Elgin Marbles from almost certain destruction, Mr Prackselson could never have conceived such a staggeringly beautiful snowman.”

Mr Praxiteles declared himself bemused at the attention his handiwork has caused. “I don’t know nothing about art, but I know what I like,” he said, as he stood shivering in the snow while slugging from a can of Metaxas 4X Special Brew. “I just decided to make a snowman that would represent the anguished struggle of the average working man during the credit crunch. The big naked geezer in the middle is wrestling with the demons of debt caused by the banking crisis. The snakes symbolize the reptilian masters of the universe who brought this chaos upon us. Around him are the geezer’s children, begging to be fed. It’s poignant, innit?”

When told that the British Museum had applauded his work and likened it to the Parthenon Marbles, Mr Praxiteles said. “Oh yeah? Tell that to the missus. If the Greeks want it, it’s theirs for a hundred large.”

Meanwhile, in a further development, Danish museum chiefs have claimed ownership of the snowman. “It was made from snow that blew across the North Sea from Denmark,” said Lars Thunderbolt, director of the Ny Carlsberg Glyptotek. “Therefore it rightfully belongs to us.”

Jacques Frost